It’s Not About Motivation - It’s About Consistency

Jun 8

We often wait for motivation like it’s the green light we need to start. We tell ourselves: “I’ll go for that walk when I feel like it.”

“I’ll set that boundary when I feel brave enough.”

I’ll change this habit when I’m more motivated.”

But here’s the truth: motivation is fleeting. It ebbs and flows. It’s not dependable. If we wait to feel motivated every time we want to make a meaningful change, we’ll spend a lot of time waiting.

The Myth of Motivation

Motivation is emotional; it’s energy that can be influenced by sleep, hormones, mood, stress, weather, time of day, and about a hundred other things. It’s unreliable. And it’s not a measure of your worth, your discipline, or your readiness. We don’t build lasting change by being motivated all the time. We build it by being consistent, especially on the days we don’t feel like it.

So, What Guides Us When Motivation and Our Goals Don’t?

This is where values come in.

Values are different from goals and motivation in meaningful ways. While goals are specific, measurable outcomes and motivation is the emotional energy that pushes us to act, values are the deeper principles that inspire and guide our actions over time. They reflect what truly matters to us - like compassion, growth, authenticity, or connection. And unlike goals, they’re not something we “complete.” Instead, they help us make choices that feel aligned with who we want to be, and how we want to move through this world - not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s hard.

Values as a Compass

When we let our values lead, we move from reactive to intentional. We don’t wait to “feel like it.” We show up because something inside us knows it matters.

You might not feel motivated to speak up in a difficult conversation, but if you value honesty or authenticity, you do it anyway.
You might not feel excited to move your body, but if you value health, energy, or self-care, you take that walk.
You might not feel brave enough to set a boundary, but if you value self-respect, you draw the line.

Values give our efforts purpose, guide our decision-making, and ground us in meaning. And when our actions are aligned with our values - even imperfectly - we’re more likely to feel a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy.

Consistency > Perfection

Let me be clear: this isn’t about pushing yourself relentlessly or expecting perfection. It’s about making small, intentional choices over time - choices that align with the life you want to live and the person you want to be.

Consistency means:

Showing up gently and often, not perfectly or intensely.
Taking a small step even when you don’t feel like it.
Letting your values, not your emotions, steer the ship.

Over time, consistency builds trust with yourself and it creates momentum. And that momentum becomes its own kind of motivation.

A Practice to Try

The next time you notice yourself waiting to “feel motivated,” pause and ask:

What do I value in this area of my life?
What small action would honor that value today?
How can I show up, even just a little bit, for that value right now?

It’s okay if you don’t feel excited. It’s okay if it’s messy. What matters most is that you showed up with intention.

A Final Reminder

Motivation is nice when it shows up, but it’s not required. Consistency, guided by your values, is what actually creates change. It’s not about waiting for the spark; instead it’s about remembering your why - why it’s important for you, why you started, why it would be worth it to follow through - and choosing, again and again, to keep going.

And that’s where the joy lives; not in the fireworks, but in the quiet, meaningful steps you take each day toward the life that matters most to you.

Interested in exploring how your values can guide your next chapter?

Therapy can be a powerful space to reconnect with what matters and build a life that reflects it. Schedule a free consultation if you’re interested in learning more.